hi all... these days sucks, a lot.
everything is mess up...

what to do? my life sucks.

so yea.. these days still sucks, more. thursday... i rush back from school, missing out the time i can have with my friends, to do the easter day's booth thing.

i had to paint up , cut and stuff. not much, my art sucks, sir thinks im not putting my best. what to do? i suck.

so i went there, the bus took freaking long to come, i reach at 5:30pm or so... i was suppose to reach at 4:30 ... omfg. t

when i reach there he wasnt there. i thought... omfg. im so dead. wtf should i do... i went around looking for phones, and i was still having small fever. again, my life sucks. sir didnt call back to ask too, i thought he is angry or something ...

then i called grandmother and stuff, i didnt had sir's number with me... so screw up.

then in the end he still came, so i went along. turns out we're doing it at the community central , with the 2 other 51st company. turns out i dont like them.

one is call "swuan yee" lols no wonder he was sick at school? one is call jerry or something.

for the first day, which is thursday, i hold no grudge against them. jerry kinda slacked a lot. he talk very loudly too.

actually before this a lot of things happen too... which is all prety mess up too.

then draw out the things, i drew badly, it sucked.

then drawing , outlining, we had dinner. it sucks . i follow along as i still had fever and dunno what to eat, in the end got fillet-O- fish meal.

then went back, i carry the drinks and fries, which is 3 large green tea and 3 med fries.

went back , ate some, sir pour the fries into a tray, its like so unfair? but then again, theres 4 of us and 3 med fries. the thing is, i paid $2 while jerry and swuan yee paid no fcking damn.

then he says, im sick so no green tea for me. come on lar, green tea. wtf ?
everything's so bloody unfair. life is unfair but seriously, this is a thing that can be fair.

then he doesnt allow me to eat first as swuan yee and jerry is still doing. jerry is like "EH AHH EEHHH!!!!" having sex with the card board. then sir just ate first. wtf is that. then they done, went to wash hand. so i asked, can i eat yet? then he like think im impatient. say "Can you wait?"

i havent ate lunch or anything... and im just asking, im not like asking impatiently right?
why must things be like that....

so then they came back. we had our "prayers" before we ate. still im a free thinker.

then we ate, i took the fries first before they disappear.
even tho im having running nose and sore throat. i was still feeling dizzy and felt like fainting.

eat finish already, mouth damn dry. felt like puking.

drank "NeWater" taste weird.

then did what im suppose to do, sir is like helping out jerry and swuan yee, while im soloing. why why why. why me? then i paste on the stuff, i paste wrongly, first i paste with glue, then he shout and stuff. then i put with tape, which was wrong again. in the end i used bluetack

i couldnt reach the upper part, i needed not 1 but 2 chairs. wtf .

then theres like things i didnt know what to do, ask sir, his like "just do what you can do dont come and ask me" omfg. please lar.

then im asked to clean up stuff, jerry too, he was ask after i was asked to. freaking unfair. his like slacking all the way, talking to friends, laughing away, while im the one picking up rubbish. then i have to clean up stuff, im still having running nose and without tissues. this sucks

then im asked to scrub the floor, which was filled with paint as wind blew and it all drip over. why is it me again? i dunno. life sucks.

then i had to use water to scrub it, then news paper too.
it sucks, im like pushing myself, telling myself not to cry.

then after all the cleaning up, sir just pass me the shirt for friday's event.
then say "tmrw you all come here at 12pm ." so i said "wan lao" and ALL I SAID , is WAN LAO. he went saying me and how jerry and swuan yee didnt complain. and HIMSELF didnt.

dude... you did. at one point, he said wan lao. towards me. i was already all mood down and stuff. and he have to say that.

so i cried. not cried, just sobbed. its screwed up for a male to cry, but who say male have no emotion?

then he said, " i wan ppl to come willingly. if you dont wan to come don come bah bah bah" wtf seriously, what do you know?
if you read this you might get piss off. but i have to tell it out. i cant bottle it up all the time.

then in the end jerry 's father took me to ang mo kio mrt station. and... i was still sobbing. but not that obvious. my pants are stained. it was one of the pants i like most? cause i dont have much.

i didnt talked to jerry or swuan yee much cause i dont know them much.

so everything was pretty much mess up, pissed off.

im really sick of everything... ppl may be having a harder time out there... but why are we the ones to suffer?

reached home at around 10pm, slept at around 12am.
sobbed while sleeping. wasnt loud cause i didnt want ppl to know...

friday, woke up even tho i didnt wanted to. i thought i had to go at 12pm... then showered , prepare and stuff.guess what? sir says i can come at 4:30pm. WTF is that.
then slacked and stuff ... in the end went there, no one said hi... except a guy call ghan or something, he says "43th?"

they say im suppose to have a coupon.. I SERIOUSLY, DONT REMEMBER HAVING IT!!!! I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW THE FCK IT LOOKED LIKE!!! sir says he passed to me.
i cant say i didnt. after all, thats how things work.

then there was this lucky draw, the prizes arent bad but who cares, i aint gonna win. then it was choir.

quite boring, was tired, so i slept awhile, swuan yee is like showing me the serious face. its like "hey please, wake up." like that. pissed off. you know nothing. but its respect to stay awake. so i tried. then i didnt sleep, his like knocking me with the bottle and saying" WAKE UP." its like, first word, blink again, up.

seriously. he is too serious.

during the fun fair thing im incharge of picking up balls, it was mess up as usual.
most of the people who played were kids.

the prizes were , staplers , notepads, notebooks, watches.

sometimes, the cardboard gets out of shape, and swuan yee is like saying "BE ALERT!!!!" i really wanted to say Shut the fck up at that point.

he said that for like 3 times.

jerry was like , playing with the ball, shouting tyco, nt taking my ball when im going to pass to him. and swuan yee didnt give a shit.

then in the end there was left over rewards. so each of us got a stapler, i got a watch and so does one more of them.

then i talked with jerimin for awhile, then went home. then zheng yao call to tell me about today's parade. HE DOESNT FCKING SAYS AM OR PM!!then i thought its pm. then
just now i iron my clothes, polish and all that, then went to yishun MRT to wait. i waited 1 bloody hour. no one came. called back 5 times, no one call back.

fcking pissed off. im at fault cause i didnt asked clearly, but you could have atleast explained right? or call earlier to tell me ??

so i waited there 1 hour, with my uniform, belt pressing, it was painful. haversack pushing my back down. ppl staring. stare back..

so came back. then whine to myself. sobbing then grandmother went out cause she appears pissed off by my sobbing.

so now im typing this. the whole time im typing, im sobbing. yes sobbing not crying?